Ever wonder what to say in these specific situations?

What do I say on an interview so I get the job?  What do I say to my boss so I get the raise I want? What do I say so people will return my phone calls and e-mail's? What do I say to a difficult co-worker so we get along?

I have created a series of telephone seminars so you can learn something new; specifically what to say at certain important moments in your career.   

All the experts say to ask for what you want in your career, but what's missing most of the time are the actual words to make your career

goals real and your career wishes come true.

To find out what you can say to move your career forward by visiting: What-to-say-when-telephone-seminar-series.html

1. Address The Inappropriate Behavior

Don’t let co-workers get away with treating you badly even if it’s unintentional. A bad behavior not addressed once, can become a new uncomfortable pattern going forward. It’s ok to let someone know that what they just said was hurtful, wrong, or out of place. Let your co-worker know that what was said was wrong. Let them know you are not happy with their behavior.

The best time to address an inappropriate behavior is in the moment if you can. And, if you are unable to speak up in the moment, this is ok. Not everyone has the perfect words to say all the time, especially if what was said to you was hurtful. If you need time to assess a situation or think before you speak, then take the time you need. There is no time limit on your ability to have a conversation with someone at your job. 

2. Convey What You Want Going Forward 

Many people are afraid to have a conversation with someone who upsets them because they view it as a confrontation. Confrontation means there is a winner and a loser. This is not what you are aiming for. You want win-win. Both sides were heard and a resolution was made that makes both sides happy.

Your goal is not to create hard feelings or to blame. You want to convey what you believe is wrong and let your co-worker know what you want going forward. Do you want them to stop interrupting you in meetings? Then, say so. Do you want them to stop talking credit for your work? Then, say so. Whatever it is, it’s ok for you to say it. 

3. Thank Your Co-Worker For Their Willingness To Work This Out With You

Thank your co-worker for taking the time to have the conversation with you. Speaking to you means they value you and respect your feelings. (Yes, it’s ok to have feelings at work.) Appreciation goes a long way, and helps creates the foundation for the new working relationship that has been formed.

Thank yous also provide closure. They mean that both sides are ready to put the issue behind them. 

4. Move On

Sometimes an issue will be resolved and sometimes it won’t. Maybe a co-worker doesn’t believe they have done anything wrong or does not want to see your side. Maybe they aren’t interested in what is important to you. This happens. Whether you were able to resolve the situation or not doesn’t matter. You spoke up, so good for you. Once you’ve given it your best shot, move on. Holding on to past issues will affect your future performance.

Trust that most issues will be resolved if you address them. The issues that don’t go away are the ones that you don’t talk about. Move on, while congratulating yourself for the courage it took to defend you. 

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love! 

Since many of my subscribers are coaches, this section is for you. It contains tips and techniques to take your coaching practice to the next level.

As a coach, your job is to help your clients through sticky situations, especially when those situations have been created by your clients themselves. Here are some tips for recognizing when your clients are doing things that are not in their best interest.

1. When they have an unmet need, which is louder than their good sense. (I REALLY need this...)

2. When they lack enough self-respect or self-esteem to make things work they way they want them. (I don't want to be piggy....)

3. When they have grown accustomed to tolerating, as if they didn't have a choice. (it's not so bad....)

4. When they're in survival and their good judgment is clouded.

5. When they have a bigger goal that they are striving for. (end justifies the means)

6. When they are afraid if they speak out/change something, they'll lose all of it. (something is better than nothing)

7. When they think they are bigger than what they're explaining. (I can handle this...)

8. they think it's just temporary. (listen, it's just for a month, and then I will...)

9. When they are genetically predisposed to act a certain way. (Choice isn't an option.)

10. When they lack the awareness to see the real costs. (Immediate and long term; health-wise, spiritual and financial)

This piece was written by Thomas J. Leonard, deceased, and the founder of the coaching profession.

Learn what it takes to be a successful Career Coach from Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, veteran professional coach, author of several books, and leader in the coaching industry.

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