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1. Find Happiness In Your Career
2. Top Possibilities to Consider When You're Feeling Down About Your Career
3. Coaches Corner: Top Ways to Win When a Client Lets You Go As Their Coach 
4. Great Resources

I. FIND HAPPINESS IN YOUR CAREER

A recent Gallup Study finds that misery at work is likely to cause unhappiness at home; 51% of the people who were unhappy at work reported that they have "behaved poorly" at home during the past month.

If you are unhappy in your career, or not sure what you want to do next, you probably already know that career problems carry over to your home life.

If you are discouraged or de-motivated in your career, know that you are not alone. According to the Gallup study, many people are unhappy and feeling the strain. But you don't have to be part of this statistic any longer.

Everyone has a time in their career when they are unhappy. The bad news is it can last a while. The good news is that usually you can do something about it. Unhappiness does not happen all at once. One thing leads to another until one day you realize that you are miserable. If it took time to become unhappy, it will take time to repair the damage.

You can turn this around. Get moving again and watch as success gradually reappears. Action brings momentum, and momentum brings results. Do something different today that will get you out of your funk. The power is in your hands, but you have to use it.

So what do you say?  You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love!

To see a full copy of the Gallup Study, please visit: http://gmj.gallup.com/content/default.asp?ci=1087

That word, immediate, is important, because the factors that trigger negative attitudes are often symptomatic rather than causal--a disagreement with a friend or loved one, a minor setback, a physical problem, or simply a disturbing story in the newspaper or on television. At the first sign that you're feeling down, you may want to ask yourself two questions: (1) what was the immediate triggering event that provoked this feeling?, and (2) to what might this event be connected? As you think about the second question, you may discover that what is really bothering you is not the immediate issue, but something more distant, remote, or less obvious. Simply being aware of this deeper aspect of the problem is a beginning step towards resolving the underlying cause.


2. Your Dominant Tense--Past, Future, Or Present.

If you were to analyze the content of your thoughts during any twenty-four hour period, what percentage of the time would you say your mind is occupied with the past? The future? The present? 80 to 90% of our thought content pertains to past or future rather than present. Let's take this a step further. Consider what you think about from the past or the future. Would you say it is predominantly positive? If you're experiencing more than occasional depression, I would guess it is not. Along with depression comes that subtle nagging pressure to relive the past and see what you did wrong or agonize about the future in terms of what MIGHT happen. Counter these demons of the mind, by accepting that: (1) the past is not real; it is simply a memory, and (2) the future is highly dependent upon the attitudes and actions you hold and take in the present. A good first step in digging out from depression is to stay in the present. Think, speak, and act only in present terms. If you haven't tried it, you may find this to be a tall order, but can be a very powerful antidote.


3. Your Predominant Outlook.

How would you describe yourself: pessimist? optimist? realist? Surprisingly, many people's fundamental view about themselves and their lives often runs counter to their experience. I've met individuals who have had a much tougher life than I have, and yet they are singularly optimistic about their present and confident that, whatever their future, they will get through it and thrive. Conversely, I've met folks who have, by most measures, had a good life and yet, they never manage to acknowledge it. The fact is: your predominant outlook has much to do with who and what you attract into your experience. The important thing to recognize here is that, if your predominant outlook is negative, you CAN change it. You have the power to control your thoughts and actions and, thereby, your emotions. But, where to start? Which leads us to:

4. The Role Of Gratitude.

You may say, "Well, I don't have much to be grateful about." Think again. You're alive (if you're reading this) and you can learn, feel, think and grow. When I was a child, my mother used to tell me to be grateful for small blessings. I never really understood it until decades later. Gratitude is like a seed. Plant it, nurture it, and it grows. A dear friend of many years ago wrote a poem about gratitude that began: A grateful heart is a garden. Her point (one of them) was that gratitude is the garden in which the blessings we receive are planted. People who are truly grateful for who they are, and what they have, are prepared to receive more rewards.

5. The Rightness Of Your Situation.

Let's say your situation is not so good. You've lost your job, are woefully short on funds, and you're coming down with all manner of undiagnosed maladies (It happens, just that way too). It would be perfectly natural to feel unhappy, put upon, and overwhelmed. Reasonable, maybe, but not helpful. IF you want your situation to change, change your viewpoint about it. Ask the situation what it has to give (teach) you, how you can learn from it, and what you need to do to go forward. This may seem strange to you, but there's a universal law operating here, something called the rule of appropriateness. It says simply that whatever is happening to you now, at this very moment, is appropriate to your need to grow. The operative word here is, "now." Recognize what's going on, learn the lesson involved, and you WILL be freed up to move on--maybe not right away, for the universe has a way of testing us to make sure we've really GOT it.

6. The Role Of Attraction.

In case you missed it earlier (point #3), you ATTRACT what comes into your experience, and you do it in very subtle ways. If you're skeptical, think about a time when you got in the car in a hostile state of mind. Did you find that, during that drive, traffic was awful, other drivers pulled out in front of you, and generally behaved stupidly? Contrast that experience with a time when you were relaxed, happy and not in a rush. How was it different? Believe it or not, you are the single most powerful force in determining what comes into your life. If you want your life to change, well, you know the rest.

7.The Wisdom Of Acceptance.

We have been trained to question, doubt and challenge. Assumptions, facts, logic and conclusions--these are our stock in trade, the tools with which we navigate our way in life; but ... at what price? The cost of this mind set, if you will, is that life becomes a struggle to be always right, on target, and in command (of the facts, the situation, and the outcome). We trade spontaneity for certainty. It is a poor trade because, in so doing, we exclude ourselves from the unexpected, the illogical, and the magical. Sometimes, it is better to accept your circumstances than to control them. Make no mistake: acceptance is a matter of faith rather than fact and, like gratitude, it too grows with use.

8. The Bottom Of The Curve.

Have you ever experienced a whole string of events, all of them unpleasant and so many that you found yourself asking when would it ever end? I have, and I finally found an answer with which I am comfortable. It's this: I think of life as a program of continuing education in which we can delay, but not hinder, the lessons of experience. While the lessons are different for each of us, the requirement that we learn--yield if you will--is not. We are each called upon to relinquish every single notion, concept, idea, attitude, and intent that is not valid and, for the most part, we resist. But what is really going on here? You'll have to work it out for yourself, but my answer--received after some considerable soul-searching of my own--is that we are each required to undergo, at some point, a life-changing shift where we get rid of the old for the new, to rid ourselves of everything that holds us back from realizing our true selves.

9. The Role Of Paradox.

Life is chock full of paradox--events that don't fit our view of things, outcomes that shouldn't have happened and conclusions that make no logical sense. Why? Again, the answers are individual and personal, but mine is this: Paradox is the Universe reminding us that logic and analysis will carry us only so far. Beyond that narrow margin of certainty lie uncharted waters, navigable more by faith than fact. Paradox, for me, is an often not too subtle reminder that I need to shift from thinking to listening, which brings us to the last point.

10. The Subtlety Of Answers ... When They Come.

Intuition is a slippery thing. Many think of it as a gift. I think of it as a skill. Our failure to develop our intuitive abilities stems, not so much that intuition is selectively innate, but rather than we mistake the nature of the intuitive voice. In our best of all worlds dream, we would like to hear a booming voice, see a burning bush, or trip over some other kind of miracle that is so obvious that we cannot miss it. I don't think that's the way intuition works. I once had a colleague who was fond of telling stories. Interested or not, he held his audience in rapt attention, because he spoke slowly and softly. Intuition is that way. It comes as a feeling in the pit of the stomach, a slight increase in pulse rate, a flushing of the cheeks, or a sense that someone is standing behind me, whispering. It does come, but only when I give it my full attention.

About the Author: This piece was written Shale Paul, Coach in Personal Effectiveness, who can be reached at shale@shalecoach.com.

THIS MONTH: TOP WAYS TO WIN WHEN A CLIENT LETS YOU GO AS THEIR COACH. 

No coach likes losing clients, but you can learn from the situation. And, it will make you a better coach in the future. So what do you do if this happens to you? 

1. Realize That The Client Actually Let You Go About A Month Earlier. 

Usually, you missed a big clue or let the client down in some way several weeks earlier and the client "decided" (consciously or subconsciously) that they were going to let you go. Win: Look back and feel when that moment was; it will come to you. Then, remember what was going on with you and the client at that time and ask yourself "Would I have done anything differently?" Learn from that. And, next time you'll catch on sooner that the client is moving down the path called "Hmm, I think it's time for a different coach." Win: The win is in mastering the skill of being much more in tune with your clients so that you can respond to their needs immediately and consistently.

2. Spend More Time With Your Other Clients. 

When you lose a client, it's often a wake up call that perhaps other clients need more of your time, space, direction, advice, caring. Use your extra time to strengthen your service to your other clients. Win: You have more time to invest in your current clients.

3. Identify What You Didn't Say To The Client That You Knew You Should Have.  

Every coach holds back -- some a lot, some a little. Yet, the client is paying us for our views and advice, so it's essential that we say it all, although in a very professional manner. If you're holding back, you're not coaching. Win: After losing the nth client because you held back, you'll stop holding back and realize that your inklings and intuition are worth even more than your good advice.

4. Ask The Client To Spend Time With You To Bring Closure To The Coaching.

Together, identify the client's original goals, list the wins/improvements that the client has had during the coaching and help the client to articulate how they have benefited from having a coach. Don't use this session as a way to "get the client back" or to prove the worth of the coaching. However, it is good that both parties list what good came out of your time together and the money they've spent with you. Win: You'll learn what meant the most to the client; this will help you coach your other clients even better.

5. Raise Your Standards About Who You Will Coach From This Point On.

When you lose a client, it's a good idea to upgrade the profile of your ideal client, which is a list of qualities, attitudes, abilities and styles of the type of person that you coach best. Over time, every coach continually raises their standards and accepts higher and higher-quality/better matched clients. Win: If, when you lose a client, that client is replaced by a client more like your ideal client, then you're on the right track.

6. Ask For Feedback And Suggestions From Every Client Who Leaves. 

Your success lives in understanding why clients leave. So, rather than prove your worth or explain why they left (or be righteous about it), why not seek first to understand why they are leaving. You'll learn more from this process than anything else, if you've got the courage. And, when they give you feedback, be silent. Don't explain, don't argue, don't turn it back on them, don't defend yourself. Let them say anything and everything and learn lots from it. Win: Even if they are mistaken, there is truth somewhere in there that's worth discovering. Learn from the departing client, don't try to teach them anything. They aren't interested at this point and anything you're likely to say will be a dagger.

7. Be Sad If You're Sad. Be Relieved If You're Relieved. In Other Words, Feel What's There. 

Every coach has an emotional reaction every time a client leaves, whether on good terms or bad. Win: Have it be okay to react emotionally.

8. Expect More Of Your Other Clients. 

Really. Channel your energy into asking/expecting more of your current clients. Win: You'll feel better because you're being constructive.

9. Make A List Of The 3 Key Reasons That The Client Let You Go. Learn From This List.

You were let go for a good reason, even if you don't agree with the reason. If you're willing to really learn each time this happens, you'll lose fewer clients. Consider this a learning experience, not just a business event.

10. Make A List Of 10 Things You Did With/For This Client That You Are Proud Of. 

Often what a coach does for a client, the client doesn't even notice until months later. By making a list now, you'll know what you did to help this client.

About the Author: This piece was written by Thomas J. Leonard, deceased, beloved founder of Coachville. More about Thomas and CoachVille can be found at http://www.coachville.com

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