Welcome to Surpass Your Dreams. The goal of the newsletter and weekly tips is to help you recognize your potential and surpass your dreams. Included are tips for either transitioning into a career you love, excelling in the career you have now, or creating simplicity in your life.

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1. Restore Your Integrity
2. Top Reasons Why People Fail To Honor Their Commitments
3. TCoaches Corner: Top Signs That Your're THAT GOOD As A Coach 
4. Great Resources

I. RESTORE YOUR INTEGRITY

Do you say you will do things knowing full well that you have a way out?  Do you say yes to commitments without checking your schedule because you know if something more important comes up you can easily back out?

Your word means something. It is a verbal contract. When you say yes to doing something and then you don’t, the people who are counting on you are disappointed. Don’t think this is a big deal? How do you feel when you go on an interview and the interviewer promises to call you on Tuesday and doesn’t? Or, your boss knows you need an answer by noon about something that is important to you and it’s 12:30 pm and you are still waiting. It doesn’t feel great. This is how other people feel when you do this to them.

I am not saying that you should keep a commitment at all costs. In life, we all face emergencies and priorities and sometimes we have to let something go from our schedules. But when the person asks you whey you weren’t there, do you give them a hard time? Or, do you just shrug your shoulders and say “I was busy” and are confused if they do not understand?

Do everything you said you would this month, or let the person you made a promise to know before hand if you cannot. We are so used to having a back door when we make commitments that our word ends up having no value. This month close this door and slam it shut.

So what do you say?  You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love!

II. TOP REASONS WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO HONOR THEIR COMMITMENTS

Communication is more than the words we speak. Communication is about who we are and how we express ourselves and relate to the world. Communication is the message we deliver through nonverbal as well as verbal means. Communication is the ultimate expression of who we are. Here are 10 ideas to consider to experience powerful communication.

1. Differing Priorities.

If you ask someone to do something and they agree to do it, does that agreement include a common understanding of the urgency and immediacy of the task involved? Often not. Each person has his or her own set of priorities, but all too frequently, these differences are not discussed. In such instances, it helps to clarify. Example: It's really important that this get done by Tuesday morning at 9:00 am. Will you be able to meet that deadline? Will you let me know if you cannot?

2. Indirectness.

Some people practice indirect communication. Instead of saying what they want directly and taking steps to ensure that there is a common meeting of  the minds, they phrase their request so they do not appear confrontational.
Here’s an example: The direct approach: Please pass me the salt. The indirect approach: I wonder if there is any salt in the cupboard. Say what you have to say directly so the other person is not guessing what you want.

3. Misunderstanding.

Sometimes, people have a legitimate question as to what is expected. “Right away” means different things to different people. To a schedule-driven type A, it may mean, within the next five minutes. To an easy-going creative type, it can mean, sometime today. Solution: Be clear on what you mean and, if there is any doubt, ask the other person to repeat back your request.

4. Self-Importance.

Some people simply feel that others owe them a certain level of deference by virtue of their position, intelligence, wealth, or presence. These folks just don't feel that your concerns are as important as theirs, so when they fail to keep a commitment, they just don't believe it's important in their larger scheme of things. The best way to deal with these people is to avoid them if you can. Their inflated sense of ego pretty much guarantees that they won't be receptive to your suggestions for improvement. And, if you can’t avoid them, don’t cater to their self importance. Your persistence will wear them down.

5. Con Artistry.

There are those folks who have no commitment to following through. They commit only to string you along, get a little more out of you, and then move on to the next unwary victim. You don't need these people in your life. Deal with them if you must, but dump them if you can.

6. Poor Time Management.

Remember that old saying about the road to failure being paved with good intentions? Some people make promises truly intending to keep them, but then something always intervenes--a current project takes longer than expected, they didn't allow enough time to get there, they had to do just a little bit more before they left, etc. At one time or another, we've probably all fallen into these traps ourselves. We get trapped because we have good motive: to get more done and make everyone happy. The net result is the
other person is inconvenienced and our stress levels increase.

7. Never Say NO.

“Yes” is a great word that makes people happy, but if you never say “No”, then your commitments will stack up, and your “Yes” will be worthless. An occasional “No” adds value to your “Yes.”

8. Unrealistic Expectations.

Similar to self-importance, but different. Some people have simply grown up expecting others to take up the slack. The pampered only child and the coddled star athlete are two examples. Confront unrealistic expectations by setting measurable goals. Do not allow room for interpretation.

9. Irresponsibility.

Being self-responsible is a learned trait which some people never master. Some adults are incapable of honoring their commitments, because they have never been taught, as children, to be responsible. The road back is long and tedious. It often begins with the mastery of the most simple tasks and continues, sometimes agonizingly slowly, towards responsible adulthood. Deal with irresponsible people by being very specific and getting everything in writing.

10. Procrastination.

Some people seem to be born procrastinators. No matter how little or how much they have to do, they always find reasons for postponing. If it is your bad luck to deal with one of these folks, the only advice I can give is follow up, follow up, and follow up. If you are a procrastinator, you might try following a simple rule: every day, pick the most unpleasant and/or difficult chore from your list and do it first. After a couple of weeks of this, you may find that you procrastinate less and enjoy it more.

About the Author: This piece was written by Shale Paul, Executive Coach, who can be reached at shale@shalecoach.com. Shale Paul works with individuals who are committed to getting ahead, changing direction, or simply growing.

III. COACHES CORNER

Since many of my newsletter subscribers are coaches, this section is for you. It contains tips and techniques to take your coaching practice to the next level.

THIS MONTH: TOP SIGNS THAT YOU'RE THAT GOOD AS A COACH

You can measure the quality of your coaching in many ways. If you are keeping your commitments, and growing your practice one step at a time, you will be able to say that you are THAT GOOD in no time.

1. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you can respond to a 2 page email from a distressed client in just 7 words -- and give them the tools to solve the problem themselves.

2. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you can coach the client on one pivotal area that you know will save you both from having to work on three underlying areas.

3. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you tell the client what they are thinking before they even knew what they were thinking.

4. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when your clients ask you to raise your fees.

5. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you are learning 10 times more from your clients that you're teaching them, but the client feels they are learning 10 times more from you.

6. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you have more energy at the end of a long coaching day than you did at the beginning of the day.

7. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you 'are' your client rather than just coaching your client. (This is subtle, and healthy.)

8. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you ask a client for one thing and the client comes back next week with that thing plus 3 even better things.

9. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you feel the joy of coaching a client in the middle/worst of their very difficult time, even more than the joy of when the client just had a major win.

10. You know that you're THAT GOOD as a coach when you can pull the rug out from underneath a client, yet the client is still standing afterward.

About the Author: This piece was written by Thomas J. Leonard, deceased, Founder of Coachville. More about Thomas and CoachVille can be found at http://www.coachville.com

IV. GREAT RESOURCES

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