| SURPASS YOUR DREAMS E-Newsletter |
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Current Issue: July 2003, Issue
#51 COMMUNICATE SO PEOPLE LISTEN |
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Welcome to Surpass Your Dreams. The goal of the newsletter and weekly tips is to help you recognize your potential and surpass your dreams. Included are tips for either transitioning into a career you love, excelling in the career you have now, or creating simplicity in your life.
This is an OPT-IN newsletter and ONLY goes to paid e-subscribers.
I. COMMUNICATE SO PEOPLE LISTEN
Do you feel like you are saying the same thing over and over again at the
office or at home? Do you feel like no one is hearing you? Would you like to
powerfully communicate so people will listen? So, what do you say? You only have
one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love! II. TOP WAYS TO COMMUNICATE POWERFULLY Communication is more than the words we speak. Communication is about who we
are and how we express ourselves and relate to the world. Communication is the
message we deliver through nonverbal as well as verbal means. Communication is
the ultimate expression of who we are. Here are 10 ideas to consider to
experience powerful communication. Since many of my
newsletter subscribers are coaches, this section is for you. It contains tips
and techniques to take your coaching practice to the next level. THIS MONTH: USE THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION TO GROW YOUR COACHING
PRACTICE The Aim Of Coaching And Communicating Are The Same: To ADVERTISE, please visit
the Surpass Your Dreams Advertising Page for more
information. If you want to reach over 13,000 successful Senior Executives,
Managers, Professionals, and Coaches who are looking to enhance their careers
and their lives, THIS is an excellent avenue to use! Shawn "Bud" Lyte: Online
Fitness Training. Regardless of your age, fitness level, or exercise experience,
Bud can help you improve your performance, & look and feel your best! http://www.bodilyte.com
Surpass Your Dreams is a
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please click on the UNSUBSCRIBE link at the bottom of this e-mail. Deborah Brown-Volkman,
Career & Mentor Coach (Publisher) Brian Volkman (Editor)
HAVE A GREAT MONTH!
Copyright (c) 2003. All
rights reserved.
Maybe it's not your words,
but how you are saying them.
Have you watched yourself lately? Are you
speaking with your head held high, eyes focused, voice loud, with confidence and
power? Or, are speaking lowly, almost asking for permission because you are
afraid you won't get that job or promotion you want.
If you listen to
successful people, they are not always saying the most brilliant things, but
they do capture your attention. What are they doing? They portray
self-assurance, even if they do not feel it in the moment. They respect
themselves and others. They believe what they are saying has meaning, and you
believe it because they do.
Getting what you want in your career has
never been tougher. Yet, time and time again I've seen my clients succeed
because they were able to communicate effectively. Think it doesn't make that
much of a difference? Tackle your communication obstacles and be amazed as your
career gets easier.
1. Be Clear About What You Want To
Express.
What do you most want the other person to understand? What is
the primary idea, concept, or message you want to communicate? Often we spend
more time speaking about superficial matters rather than addressing the core
concepts. To communicate effectively with another person requires an
inner clarity and a thorough communication with yourself. You can't make an
effective request if you don't know what you want.
2. Tact And Good
Manners Count
Don't let good manners inhibit you from communicating! If
your communication isn't honest, integrity is lost and work relationships
suffer. Tact matters as much as honesty. Ask yourself if you're hiding under the
pretense of manners because "I don't want to hurt their feelings." Are you using
their feelings as an excuse to avoid expressing your perspective? You can be
tactful and compassionate at the same time.
3. Precision
Matters.
Expressing yourself fully requires you to choose your words
precisely. We're frequently sloppy in our communication and speak in vague
terms. What suffers is that our ideas and our passion for those ideas don't come
across. Effective communication requires using precise language. The more
specific your words, the more profound their impact.
4. Perspective
matters.
We each have different perspectives based on our motivations and
needs. Understand the framework you speak and listen from. Recognize that your
framework influences how you listen and what you listen for. Enhance
communication by observing your filters and shifting the paradigms that shape
your listening.
5. Diversity & Common Ground
Diversity
contributes richness and depth to our communication style. Learn the art of
integrating diverse viewpoints by identifying the common ground. Identify the
interests of the person you're speaking with, and then find the shared purpose,
perspective, motivator, or values. The connection you make is essential for
rapport and consensus building.
6. Alignment & Congruency
When
words and actions are aligned, powerful results occur. Lack of alignment creates
conflict and results in a loss of power. The more consistently we align our
actions with our values and intentions, the more powerful our communication
becomes. Ensure that your actions are consistently aligned with the message you
are delivering.
7. Silence
Your words are not the only message
that people receive from you. It's also the silence between the words. We learn
about each other by what we don't say as much as by what we say. We learn about
each other by listening to which topics we discuss as well as the ones we avoid.
Learning from silence occurs all the time. Think about it. What topics will you
NOT discuss? What topics do YOU avoid? Listen to the silence, as much as the
words, for a deeper understanding of the message.
8. The Nature Of
Conflict
Conflict is inevitable, and it can be productive. We learn more
from disagreeing people than from people who are like us. While similarity
provides support and encouragement, it's our differences that create our
expanded viewpoint. Don't avoid conflict. Conflict expands your possibilities.
Embrace it.
9. Communication Contains Context, Text, And
Subtext
Communication is the sum of our perspective (context), the words
we use (text), and our personal motivators and perspectives (subtext). Subtext
refers to the meaning and the emotions that we assign to the text. Communication
involves all of these things. Effective communication requires awareness,
flexibility, and an acute yet agile listening. Pay attention to context, text,
and subtext for improved communication.
10.
Responsibility
Communication is about being 100% responsible for the
other person's listening. This means that if you don't feel understood, you've
not completed the job of communicating. Don't blame others for their not hearing
you; take responsibility for re-communicating your position to ensure that
you've been properly heard. Don't be attached to your choice of words.
Be
flexible and be willing to re-think how you can communicate a
concept in a different way, so it can be heard. Play with your words until
you've found the words that properly express what you want to say. Re-format
your ideas if necessary.
About the Author: This piece was written by Jan
Gordon, LCSW, Executive, Career & Personal Coach, who can be reached at http://www.qualitycoaching.com
Touching people in
a way that positively changes their perspective and behavior.
You may be
trying to help your client discover new possibilities for solving problems. You
may be trying to help a "prospect" for your coaching services see the
possibility that you are the person to help them get what they really
want.
Either way, until you make that critical connection, there will be
no forward movement. The goal is to find the right tools to help
you.
Begin by understanding that most people exhibit a natural "style
preference" in the way they give and receive feedback and advice. This is normal
human behavior. There are assessment tools that can help you quickly determine
your clients or potential client's basic style. My favorite is the Personal
Coaching Style Inventory (PCSI) that was developed specifically for the coaching
industry by Dr. Lee Smith and Dr. Jeannine Sandstrom of CoachWorks
International, Dallas Texas. While similar to other four quadrant style
assessments that you may have seen, (DISC for example) the PCSI is especially
effective and easy to learn for people who perform "coaching" in a wide variety
of areas.
I discovered the PCSI in my studies at Corporate Coach
University where it was covered extensively in a 12-week module (my favorite
class) at CCUI. So covering everything that this technique offers would require
more discussion than I can provide here. But, I can tell you how an ability to
quickly make effective, even powerful connections, helped me grown my coaching
practice
in three ways:
1. DEVELOPING THE INTEREST OF POTENTIAL
CLIENTS. When I started my coaching practice in September 2002, I knew that to
grow my practice quickly I needed a network that could connect me with potential
clients as well as help me learn the business of coaching. Networking had never
been one of my power areas. But I learned (from my PCSI results) that I have a
tendency to spend a lot of time giving "background information" and "setting the
stage" with more details than are actually required to tell my story. This was
boring and maybe even stressful for people with "Director" styles, who are
bottom-line, results-oriented, and want to get to the point quickly. And it did
not produce much in the way of valuable networking that led to leads for my
practice.
I started talking less and listening more. This helped me to
draw out the person I was speaking with and I got a sense, by the pace of their
conversation and by the questions that they asked me, how they wanted our
discussion to move forward. Effective listening helped me to increase the number
of interested prospects that came my way.
2. SELLING MYSELF BY CREATING
INTEREST FOR MY SERVICES. When I found myself in front of, or on the phone with
a prospect, I would often feel fear or anxiety about "blowing it." I decided
that I would work to uncover their style and "flex" my style to be more
effective. Unlike the "Director" I mentioned before, some were "Strategists" who
wanted more detailed, fact-based information and unlike the Director, they
needed more time to think carefully before they spoke. I learned to live with
uncomfortable
periods of silence while I waited for their response. I
also relied on this acronym: "WAIT: Why Am I Talking?" It worked. Because I
became more interested in what they were saying, my services became more
attractive.
3. WORKING EFFECTIVELY WITH THE CLIENTS I HAD. Once I had
paying clients, my goal was to keep them and hopefully gain referrals. By
learning about their preferred style, I easily built rapport with them. I did
this by carefully matching their communication style preferences for pace,
direction, creativity, and control with how they wanted to be coached.
Interesting, it turned out that my first paying clients were just like me when
it came to communicating. (What a coincidence!) The advantage was I really
understood them. The drawback was we initially had long, unfocused,
conversations that took up lots of our time and did not always
produce
results. I worked on keeping our conversations focused and on
track so that our time wasn't wasted. As a result, the clients were happier and
the referrals came in.
Effective communication is a powerful coaching
tool. In addition, to a satisfied client base, I speak on this topic regularly.
This has helped me expand my network and get potential business. In November of
2002 I joined a group that meets weekly to exchange business leads. Initially, I
received no productive leads, but as soon as I gave them a ten minute talk on
how to communicate effectively, I started receiving leads that have led to
several productive prospects and more paying clients. In addition, I created a
half day PCSI workshop that I sold to a local school district and got a paying
job as a trainer.
Learning how to make the best use of my communication
skills has made me a better coach. It has helped me find prospects and clients.
Understanding that communication is the foundation of coaching is helping me to
build the dream practice that I envisioned.
About the Author: This piece
was written by Jim Gober, Small Business and Executive Coach, who can be reached
at http://www.createtomorrow.com
Jim offers a one hour introductory teleclass that includes one PCSI
booklet.
Contact Jim if you would like to find out more about this
incredible communications too.
Build Your
Passion for Life. Create Your Own Reality. Ladyfire offers expert advice,
inspirational articles, stories, and techniques to build a foundation of
empowerment for realizing your dreams. Free Newsletter at: http://www.ladyfire.com/newsletter.htm
President, Surpass Your
Dreams
President, United Coaching Alliance
info@surpassyourdreams.com
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631-874-2877
brianonline@worldnet.att.net
